Dream runner

I was a bit stressed when I left for work this morning. Oliver hadnt had a good night and he ended up asleep on my side of the bed. I slept in his bed (shhh... dont tell but I got the best nights sleep in ages!). Hed struggled last night and we had a bit of a poo incident that left two beds and six towels smeared in the stuff. Joanne was exhausted. It meant there was a ton of washing, ironing and bed making, all waiting for me to return. We were also out of food and waiting for a big shop. There was nothing for lunch so I had to nip to tesco, looking for a healthy meal. Nothing was under my control as I left for work. The guilt rode up as the mess shouted me from the house “come back”, “Joanne cant manage”. I pushed the thoughts aside and made my way to work. On my return the house, mess and jobs were still there, digging their fingers into me, clawing and reminding me to continue. “Dont stop” they said, “dont rest”, “dont you dare stop ”. I really do worry and stress when I have to leave the house upside down. More often than not, Joanne sees Ive not managed that morning and tries to help, hurting herself in the process. Its so frustrating.

Running: 7.14 miles 10 / mile 1hr 15 mi

Alarm rang, eyes opened, 5.15am.

I was dressed, shoes laced, jacket on.

Confused, half asleep but automatic, committed.

A cup of dark liquid steamed,

I stood before the door, the key turned.

I ran.

Morning air, slightly awake.
Torch cuts a bright swathe through the darkness.
The lane jogged, not a thought in my head.
Breath; measured, shallow and calm,
Footsteps; so light and so soft.
I ran

Pace; slow, easy, effortless.
Though inky blackness,
The ocean whispered gently
Trail dark, strange, new and untrodden.
Different but familiar in the warm, early morning.
I ran

Sweat clung to me, hot, sticky, pungent.
Sand moved; soft, moist, malleable.
Pebbles rocked.
Round shadows shifted and danced.
Morning light, rose from black water.
I ran

Figures walked and drove to an early start
Pavement hard, smooth
headlights bright, hurried in the dusk
Home beckoned
Slow down, heart rests
Id ran

A bizarre, semi dreamlike run this morning. I was half asleep, sat back as if in a running armchair, my mind, separate, drifted along side.

Food Diary:

Breakfast:

Oatso Simple with Chia Seeds

Lunch:

Chicken breast salad with humus

Dinner:

Roast chicken with sweet potato mash, carrots and broccoli.

Greek Fat Free Yoghurt

Snacks:

2x Apples, nuts and seeds, 9bar.